Rule #1

Tuesday October 19
6:30 am

    Its weird because I have not yet had nothing to say about India, but at this moment I'm at a loss for words.  It may be because it is 6:30 in the morning and I'm still waiting for my coffee to cool, or it may be residual medicine effects as I have a gross cold…who knows.  Let the ramble begin.
    We went to our first Indian wedding on Friday and Saturday.  This was a Muslim wedding, the reception is held the night before the ceremony.  This is called the "mahendi" which is when the bride and all the women get henna (they call it mahendi in arabic) and everyone dances and eats.  Colleen and I got our mahendi on Thursday evening by one of our fellow teachers, Lallu.  She did a fantastic job!  Check out some of my Facebook pics!  I've only seen henna in America as part of the Virginia Beach tourist traps, right next to the hair wraps and psychics….but wow I think Im gonna bring it back and start a trend!  I am one of few of my friends who never wishes to get a tattoo---in my generation this seems like the minority.  I've always joked that I can just write on myself with a sharpie, and when my fickle mind decides I don't like it five hours later, I can wash it off and draw something else.   Well thank you India for introducing me to Mahendi!!! WOooooop!  Ok so anyways, the reception.  We went in and met Shaihina's (bride) mother, grandmother, sisters, sister cousins, etc…everyone was intrigued about these two amazon white chicks at Shaihina's wedding…who are they?!?  We go outside to eat dinner which was the typical dish of biriyani ( rice with meat under it…Im not a big fan as I like colorful meals and not just rice and meat) and we also had a small plate full of some porridge-looking oatmeal with meat in it shenanigan (more carbs and meat)…. I have a slight lapse of judgment and forgot I was in India and looked around for the spoon to eat my interphasial liquid-solid food…bahahah woops… no way sista… you eat that with your fingers just like everything else!  This may have been slightly less awkward had I not had the mother and grandmother standing over me watching and waiting with a loaded spoon to ensure the giant white kid gets fed…. you'd think that all Indians have some conspiracy to pull a Hansel and Gretel on all the foreigners because they are ALWAYS trying to give us food…. even if I say "no" or shake my head and block my plate with my arm…PLOP!  goes the next serving.  Colleen and I have worked out a system… I finish her caffeinated beverages (tea and coffee) and she eats my red meat… we have become masters at stealthily exchanging food items so as to not offend anyone. 
    On Saturday was the actual wedding.  For Muslim weddings, it is common here for the groom's family to go to the mosque with the bride and groom.  There they get married and return back to the bride's home where everyone is gathered to celebrate and eat.  It is becoming more common now for the bride's family to go to the mosque as well.  Colleen and I purchased saris for this occasion and were elated to finally wear the traditional Indian dress.  Lallu, again, saved the day and came over in the morning to wrap our saris for us (this is not an easy task people…its one piece of fabric wrapped and pleated and pinned and shimmied around you to make an outfit….you wear a barbie 70's roller rink top too) Anyways, we took tons of pictures and felt super cool wearing our saris.  Colleen went for sparkling red, I went with wood/ocean nymph.  We both decided that we want to hang our saris in our homes for whenever we return as it is a decorative piece of fabric that could act as a tapestry.  We told Aaliya this and she thinks we are weird.  She said, "I mean, its not like I could go to America and buy a pair of jeans and then hang it up in my room as a curtain"….good point.  We arrived to the wedding, glammed out in sparkling saris and done up hair, and entered into the house.  Literally no more than twenty seconds go by and the camera crew comes out of the 'photo room', instructs Shaihina to stand between us and all of a sudden we have bright camera lights and a movie video camera and flashes and cameramen yelling stuff….it felt like I was on the stinkin red carpet!  Good lord that was an experience you don't come by often.  Everyone looked like royalty in their saris and salwaars.  Shaihina was decked out in a purple and gold sari, drenched in gold bangles and chains, with jasmine flowers weaved and dangling all through her hair.  I really love all the colors. 
    Welp, here we all are in colorful, beaded saris (the best dress up gear ever!) and its time to eat.  Can you imagine going to a wedding, everyone dressed to the nines, and then sitting down for the dinner and eating rice and meat oatmeal with your hands? Hehe, I can!  So real.
    I must say that the wedding was not at all what I had expected.  It seemed much more mellow with mingling and talking rather than the dancing and chaos you see in the movies.  Its funny because Colleen and I have told people on numerous occasions to not assume our lives are like those of celebrities and characters in movies.  After we said the wedding was not what we expected, Asiya said, "well, don't expect our lives to be like what you see in movies! haha!"  Touche.  Asiya has asked about our "huge houses" and what the glamorous life of an American is like.  I find it amusing that all of the houses, including Asiya's, that I have visited here, are all larger than the home I grew up in.  Kannur is a pretty wealthy area, and the homes are stinkin' huge and gorgeous.  Colleen and I are loving that we can set the record straight that not all Americans live like Angelina Jolie, not everywhere is like New York City, and we do not attend balls for fun.  Yes, I have been asked if I've been to a ball.  I have not for the record.  Instead, we explained 'prom' which turned out to be a ridiculous concept as boys and girls mingling like that before marriage would not be accepted here.  Let me also state that Kannur is a more conservative city in India.  I do not want any of you to take what I see in Kerala or Calcutta or anywhere and apply it to the whole country.  I feel like humans have a tendency to generalize and stereotype because everything we learn needs to be placed inside a schema, a labeled file inside our brains.  Well STOP IT PEEPS!  This is getting the whole world into trouble!  Im not gonna fly into a tangent now (see future blogs because it may happen later) but just think twice before you make assumptions about ANYTHING.  Remember rule number 1. Never assume anything.  I also want everyone to know that I explained to Asiya that not ALL Americans hate Muslims…. as this was her perception.  Ok I'm getting very scattered here… time for some more coffee.